Words of wisdom

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

-- Mark Twain
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

Words of wisdom

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

-- Mark Twain
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

Words of wisdom

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

-- Mark Twain
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

The Backstroke of the West

What do you get when you take Revenge of the Sith, add Chinese subtitles, and then translate them into English? This....

Kangaroo tying

And Roberta X has the BASIC idea....


H/T to Tam and to Dustbury.

Jayne Austen

Cunning hats....

H/T to Tam.

Numbah Twelve day

(Numbah Twelve day of Christmas the bes', and the bes' stuff always come las'...)

Numbah Twelve day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Twelve TELEVISION, eleven missionary, ten can of beer,
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin',
Seex hula lesson, FORTY steenkin' peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree!


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Eleven day

Numbah Eleven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eleven missionary, ten can of beer, nine pound of poi,
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Ten day

Numbah Ten day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin'
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Nine day

Numbah Nine day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin',
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Eight day

Numbah Eight day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg (that make TWENNY!), foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Seven day

Numbah Seven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Seex day

Numbah Seex day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg (that make TEN!),
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

The Christmas Can-Can

Two years ago I posted a video of an a cappella group called Straight No Chaser singing their version of "The 12 Days of Christmas." And now, here they are again....

Numbah Five day

Numbah Five day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Five beeg fat peeg... foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Foah day

Numbah Foah day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Tree day

Numbah Tree day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah Two day

Numbah Two day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Two coconut, an' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Numbah One day

Numbah One day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
One mynah bird in one papaya tree.


"Numbah One Day of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas local style)," by Eaton B Magoon Jr, Edward Kenny and Gordon N Phelps. Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright 1959. Used without permission.

Canadian Public Service Announcement

The Taliban consider it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, next Sunday at 2:00 PM Eastern time, all Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house, completely naked, to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.... Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrating that they think it’s okay to see nude women, other than their wives, and to show support for all Canadian women. And, since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment. The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this Anti-Terrorist activity.

God Bless Canada!


H/T to Kyla.